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Is your Skin Tone also like Milky Tea?

The words of an [unfortunately] brown girl

By Mehr Sohal

Milky tea. Crispy fried chicken. Cold coffee. Chocolate.

If the above food and beverages aptly describes your skin colour, then please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences. No, I am not being racist for I too am unfortunately a member of the brown community. My name is Rhem, and I as much as I hate to say it, my skin is currently at a 7565 C (refer to the color chart below).

Image source: @revoliomag

If you are at a 'Life of Misery', 'Categorically Unattractive', 'Partially Redeemable' or 'Getting There', I know your struggle; I know how badly you want to be 'OMG QUEEN PERFECTION MMHMM WALK ALL OVER ME'; and I also know how difficult it can be:

  • Having to stop yourself from drinking tea because tea obviously increases the amount of melanin pigment in my skin.

  • And consequently having to replace your daily cup of tea with saffron-milk (yuck).

  • Mixing curd and besan to form a disgusting paste to put on your face. It may burn your skin, but I'm sure we are all willing to do anything to achieve fairness.

  • Avoiding eating brinjal/eggplant because that, too, makes your complexion darker. DUH.

  • Replacing brinjal with the far worse bitter gourd as it will definitely make your skin glow like a flashlight.

  • Having to stay away from the sun at all costs. There goes your plans for a nice summer vacation on the beach (but again, remember that it's all worth it).

However, for like the fifth time now, we all know that all the steps above–as horrible and difficult they maybe–are absolutely 100% worth it. Without a fair and light face, how will I possibly ever get a job? How will I find love? Heck, how will I ever pass the SAT!

Now coming to 'Fair and Lovely's' renovation to 'Glow and lovely': I could not be more ecstatic. I am so glad that amidst all the discussion these days, the product made the risqué decision of serving the same purpose– making skin fairer. And the name is such a ramp-up from plain old 'fair' (even though it may be slightly grammatically incorrect...whoopsies) as everyone knows that having light skin automatically implies an immediate glow and radiating demeanour. I am tired of seeing my arms and hands turn a sizzling gold under the sunlight. I'd much rather glow like a flashlight; sparkle like a sheet of A4 paper, and shine like a neon orange traffic cone. I am absolutely confident that a mere cream will be capable of offering me all the things aforementioned.

From the advertisement above I guess my face will also have better higher resolution if it's going to become 'HD GLOW'. I am so excited for people to be able to see me better!

I can already foresee future matrimonial ads in the newspaper and on with the following message: "Wanted: Young woman with skin that glows like traffic cone". Or even better– "Wanted: Husband that is rich, glow, and handsome". WHAT FUN!

To conclude, I am a teenage girl with milky-tea-like-skin who is confident of my appearance (or rather will be when either of 2 situations appear: a) my skin turns fair overnight like abracadabra. b) INDIAN SOCIETY WAKES UP AND REALISES IT IS BEYOND PERFECT TO BE ABSOLUTELY ANY SKIN TONE UNDER THE SUN).


Note: the above article is a satirical take on the pressure–both girls and boys–face in India to be of a lighter skin tone than they are. I do not intend to offend anyone. While I do think one should not try changing their appearance to be socially accepted, I do not mean to belittle anyone who is doing it for themselves– you do you! Also, I am absolutely happy with myself and love my skin :)

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